Well, once again, I awoke after about four hours (maybe) of sleep.  I tried valiantly to get back to sleep…I did make the mistake of checking the time – 12:40a.m.  I really did work on it – I even did the ‘okay I’m not going to sleep so instead I’ll get into a restorative yoga position and do yoga nidra.”

Nope.  So, with a bit of an exasperated sigh, I finally got up about 2:20.  Yes….ante meridian.  Thing of it is, I’m not rested, it’s not like my body magically has decided that it only needs 4 hours of sleep.  I’m still tired.  And I really couldn’t tell you why I woke up.  Not particularly in pain….feel okay….didn’t have leg cramps or nightmares or even busy brain.  There are no city noises, the house is quiet.  The wind isn’t even blowing.

Eh, whatever.  Here I am.  The cat came up the stairs when I went to the kitchen to turn on the coffee.  He chirruped softly and sleepily, more curious than anything else, I think.  He sat and stared at the breakfast I offered, then dutifully ate it.  I do believe he’s gone back downstairs, probably to climb back into bed with Charm.

I also let the dog out of her crate.  She is well and truly a velcro dog, and even though she gave me a look like ‘you…alpha…are out of your mind….’  she came out of the crate.  She went out back, she did her business as dutifully as the cat ate his middle-of-the-night kibble.  Now she is flat on the carpet at my feet, breathing deeply, and sinking back into blessed dog sleep.

Let’s see….what to write about…

Things on my mind, in no particular order:

Odd sense of detachment from the political storm
Watering trees
December training in Sacramento
Getting a shower and when I can do it without waking the other humans
Why I torture myself looking at houses I can’t buy yet in a place I’ve never been to
Smudging a vagrant out of the house, and when to do it
Why I hold on to cross stitch projects that I never finish and have no use for even if I do finish them
How to become a sunday school teacher and a hospice midwife…without incurring debt…and without having to profess religion
How to navigate a possible job offer, and/or to negotiate
Christmas logistics
When to start working on the next (and hopefully final for awhile!) construction project
Connecting beyond the blue screen
Why people are so stupid in the States about dogs in public places
What to send to the Leather Archives, and when to send it
Medicinal herbs..what to grow, how to grow it, and what to do with it

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Ah, my friend in BC is awake as well.  And I just saw the IM light of a friend in the Bay Area come on.  Why are we awake??

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So, I cancelled my gym membership at work again.  I wasn’t going, for various reasons, and plus, with picking up my own medical/dental/vision in January, I’m going to be out about $250 a month.  Ouch.  The gym membership is only about $25 a month, but I’m going to have to do some budget monitoring and money flow work for awhile to see how things turn out with this new chunk disappearing every month, so ‘extras’ need to be trimmed for awhile.  I’ve discovered that I’m quite competent at grooming the dog myself, so I won’t need to spend money there.  It was convenient taking her to the dog wash, rather than trying to do it in the sink or tub, but it’s not totally necessary.  Fortunately, she’s not a very stinky dog.  Once every 2-3 months is probably fine, especially when I can keep her out of daycare.  When the package I bought runs out, I’m going to look at different options for daycare, rather than the facility I’m taking her to.  I don’t think she enjoys it that much (although surely it’s better than the crate!), and I’m wondering if a small daycare in someone’s home might work better.  I have one scoped out.  But I’ve still got quite a few days left in the package I bought, and since I’m using up leave this month and next month, I won’t need to put her in daycare for awhile.  Plenty of time to look at options.

I’m having an odd and interesting sense of detachment to the horror that is the political climate in the States right now.  After the crushing disappointment of Sanders stepping aside, and the revulsion I felt throughout the rest of the campaign season, and the disgust and alarm of the oncoming transition….I don’t know….maybe I am experiencing reaction exhaustion.  But I don’t really think so.  It’s more like…..it’s hard to describe.  I’m going to try.

Imagine an experienced veteran, well-equipped, with a leadership, medical, and recovery mission objective.  You’re on the ground in the middle of a disintegrating situation.  You know it has to play itself out, and you need to wait patiently, steadfastly, and provide assistance whenever possible, while still walking through the chaos towards the light.

…….that’s not a great description.  I’m going to let that one rest for awhile.  But I’m feeling it.  It’s an odd place to be.  Like pulling forward those many lives as soldier and priest…rolling in the current calling to be a healer…and distilling it into a calm that feels almost like a bubble.  I really don’t know what to make of it.  It’s a place of action, but it’s not like the action of get-in-there-and-do-battle.

*mildly baffled amusement*…..ok, yeah, I can work with this.  Just give me a good medic kit, a raven feather, a xylophone, and….opportunities that I can see in time to recognize before they swirl past in the river.

Maybe I should look at the paper.  Yes, it was there, at 2:30 in the morning, when I looked out.  Honestly, I think the Oregonian prints the ‘morning paper’ before suppertime the day before, waits until most of us go to bed, then the delivery folks race around shortly after midnight (technically ‘morning’, right?), toss the papers on the lawns, then they go home and go to bed too.

Anyway….today’s headlines….a polar bear died at the zoo, people aren’t buying some mini-condos, something about the Blazers (basketball, maybe?) and something about Trump. Meh.

I think I’ll read it anyway.  I was going to write more, but am just not feeling it.

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